In this guide I will discuss what goes on for a mom or dad when their little one is identified with some form of incapacity. Here I focussed on the emotion of anguish as it can be so intense that moms and dads may find themselves overpowered by the scale of the situation.
Their dreams for their kids can be crushed in no time and they may feel like they are sinking in unchartered waters and absolutely out of their depth.
The explanation why I can talk about such issues is that having gone through the period of having a diagnosis for my own kid, I know some what how other parents who find themselves in comparable circumstances must be going through.
Before a baby is born, it is always an anxious time. You wonder will the delivery go okay and whether there will be complications and then after all this has passed you relax. You relax until you start to notice something different or maybe someone else makes some observations. Depending on the disability, this can take years before a diagnosis is formally made.
But once you suspect something, things are never the same again. From that point onwards, you are always observing, waiting, pondering and then when it finally presents itself, you find it so tough to deal with it and accept it.
Your universe becomes a very different place and you worry about the world your cherished daughter or son will live in.
These feelings are very normal and because each person has a uniquely different experience, we each process this information on a childs diagnosis differently and move through different emotional stages at our own pace and in our own time.
At this time of great distress, it is not unusual to withdraw from others, be drained of strength, rest little and find it difficult even to do the easiest of activities. You may also find you do things out of character that you normally would never do.
On top of this we may be conscious that there are other family members we are neglecting but feel disempowered to do anything about it.
In helping parents cope, some turn towards alcohol, cigarettes, antidepressants or tranquilizers as a temporary coping strategy.
However, all these raw emotions will not stay raw forever and there will be a degree of recovery over time. Be nice to yourself, take some small steps in your recovery and accept what support is given even for the time being by good families and support groups and above all avoid making any essential judgements until the pain has subsided.
Remember, you are not alone, although you may feel like the loneliest parent on the planet at this time.
Their dreams for their kids can be crushed in no time and they may feel like they are sinking in unchartered waters and absolutely out of their depth.
The explanation why I can talk about such issues is that having gone through the period of having a diagnosis for my own kid, I know some what how other parents who find themselves in comparable circumstances must be going through.
Before a baby is born, it is always an anxious time. You wonder will the delivery go okay and whether there will be complications and then after all this has passed you relax. You relax until you start to notice something different or maybe someone else makes some observations. Depending on the disability, this can take years before a diagnosis is formally made.
But once you suspect something, things are never the same again. From that point onwards, you are always observing, waiting, pondering and then when it finally presents itself, you find it so tough to deal with it and accept it.
Your universe becomes a very different place and you worry about the world your cherished daughter or son will live in.
These feelings are very normal and because each person has a uniquely different experience, we each process this information on a childs diagnosis differently and move through different emotional stages at our own pace and in our own time.
At this time of great distress, it is not unusual to withdraw from others, be drained of strength, rest little and find it difficult even to do the easiest of activities. You may also find you do things out of character that you normally would never do.
On top of this we may be conscious that there are other family members we are neglecting but feel disempowered to do anything about it.
In helping parents cope, some turn towards alcohol, cigarettes, antidepressants or tranquilizers as a temporary coping strategy.
However, all these raw emotions will not stay raw forever and there will be a degree of recovery over time. Be nice to yourself, take some small steps in your recovery and accept what support is given even for the time being by good families and support groups and above all avoid making any essential judgements until the pain has subsided.
Remember, you are not alone, although you may feel like the loneliest parent on the planet at this time.
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