In your parent teenager relationship are you struggling to get your teen to cooperate such that you end up wanting to scream in utter frustration?
On reflection has it occurred to you which parenting actions, despite your best intentions, add further strain to your parent teenager relationship? Actions such as lecturing, warnings, name calling, comparisons, sarcasm, threats and so on, simply don't work. The truth is, that these types of interventions are down right counter productive.
Often as parents we keep doing the same stuff because we don't know what else to do plus we feel like a volcano about to explode with all our bottled up feelings of frustration and anger. How do I know? Simply because I have been there and done that so many times.
Going forward with a positive mindset, I want to share with you five parenting strategies that you can implement that will help elicit your teenagers cooperation and keep your parent teenager relationship on track.
Let me explain each strategy in the context of a scenario you might well be familiar with. The scenario is that you have a teenager who has the habit of just leaving their dirty dishes on the kitchen sink. The task is to be able to get the teenager's cooperation to wash their own dishes.
Strategy #1 DESCRIBE THE SITUATION. For instance you could say "I notice that there are dirty dishes on the sink". Here you simply describe your observation. You recognize that your teenager has a conscience and the intelligence to know what action is needed.
Strategy #2 PROVIDE INFORMATION. You could say "when dirty dishes are left on the sink it attracts ants and other insects that can become a problem". This statement is giving a reason why the preferred course of action is to wash your own dishes.
Strategy #3 JUST USE A WORD OR TWO. For example, say "your dishes".
Strategy #4 POST A NOTE. For instance, stick a note in the kitchen that reads; "Dear [name of teenager] Because there is no hired servants in this house could you please wash your own dishes? Love Mum"
Strategy #5 EXPRESS YOUR FEELINGS. For instance you could say "I find it really annoying when people leave their dirty dishes lying around and I end up having to wash them". Notice that this is not attacking or criticizing anyone. Rather it is an "I" statement expressing how you feel. By using this approach, no one can argue with you and you are at the same time, appealing to your teen's conscience.
To sum up. What I have just shared is five proven strategies that you can implement immediately to elicit cooperation from your teenager. They will not work every time in every situation. By picking and choosing which strategies might work for you, you have a valuable parenting resource that can cause you to get the parenting results that you want. At the same time you can develop your parent teenager relationship.
On reflection has it occurred to you which parenting actions, despite your best intentions, add further strain to your parent teenager relationship? Actions such as lecturing, warnings, name calling, comparisons, sarcasm, threats and so on, simply don't work. The truth is, that these types of interventions are down right counter productive.
Often as parents we keep doing the same stuff because we don't know what else to do plus we feel like a volcano about to explode with all our bottled up feelings of frustration and anger. How do I know? Simply because I have been there and done that so many times.
Going forward with a positive mindset, I want to share with you five parenting strategies that you can implement that will help elicit your teenagers cooperation and keep your parent teenager relationship on track.
Let me explain each strategy in the context of a scenario you might well be familiar with. The scenario is that you have a teenager who has the habit of just leaving their dirty dishes on the kitchen sink. The task is to be able to get the teenager's cooperation to wash their own dishes.
Strategy #1 DESCRIBE THE SITUATION. For instance you could say "I notice that there are dirty dishes on the sink". Here you simply describe your observation. You recognize that your teenager has a conscience and the intelligence to know what action is needed.
Strategy #2 PROVIDE INFORMATION. You could say "when dirty dishes are left on the sink it attracts ants and other insects that can become a problem". This statement is giving a reason why the preferred course of action is to wash your own dishes.
Strategy #3 JUST USE A WORD OR TWO. For example, say "your dishes".
Strategy #4 POST A NOTE. For instance, stick a note in the kitchen that reads; "Dear [name of teenager] Because there is no hired servants in this house could you please wash your own dishes? Love Mum"
Strategy #5 EXPRESS YOUR FEELINGS. For instance you could say "I find it really annoying when people leave their dirty dishes lying around and I end up having to wash them". Notice that this is not attacking or criticizing anyone. Rather it is an "I" statement expressing how you feel. By using this approach, no one can argue with you and you are at the same time, appealing to your teen's conscience.
To sum up. What I have just shared is five proven strategies that you can implement immediately to elicit cooperation from your teenager. They will not work every time in every situation. By picking and choosing which strategies might work for you, you have a valuable parenting resource that can cause you to get the parenting results that you want. At the same time you can develop your parent teenager relationship.
About the Author:
Parenting guru Paul Saver specializes in empowering teenagers and their parents to revolutionize parent teenager relationships. If your relationship is in need of an overhaul go quickly and grab a hold of Paul's FREE videos. Each video is power packed with cutting edge parenting advice. Just click on the link.
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