Retirement jokes that will really brighten your day

Posted by The Popular News Today on Thursday, November 22, 2012

By Peter Slegg


When the time comes where you'll spend the rest of your golden years away from the general daily running order that your work demands, would it be pleasant to have something to brighten your day? Well, there are plenty of things you can do to occupy your day and to keep from feeling rather disinterested. Stuff like gardening, mending something that has been broken that you have not paid close attention to while you had your job, and many more. However one of the things you can do to let the hours go is read retirement jokes.

From the various retirement jokes you can find over the Net, you'll be surprised how effectively comical they are. Some of the jokes are even presented in respect to all of those who have worked hard all of their lives and to those that did not do anything at all. If you begin reading one of the very best retirement jokes, I bet you wouldn't want to stop. I personally have some of the jokes and believe me you may laugh your socks off! To those that are already retired, about to retire, planning your retirement pension, and even baby boomers, you will get a share of laughs from my personally picked retirement jokes. Enjoy reading!

Here are two retirement jokes that hopefully will make your day.

50/50

A young man saw an aged couple sitting down to eat lunch at McDonalds. He spotted that they had ordered one meal and an additional drink cup. As he observed, the old man conscientiously divided the burger in half, and then counted the fries, one for him, one for her, until each had half them. Then, he poured 1/2 the cola into the additional cup and set it in front of his better half. The old man then started to eat, while his other half sat watching with her hands folded on her lap. The young man decided to ask if they might permit him to purchase another meal for them in order that they failed to have to split theirs. The old man claimed, "Oh no. We have been married 50 years and everything has traditionally been and will forever be shared 50/50". The young man then asked the spouse if she was going to eat, and she responded, "It's his turn with the teeth".

Not Absent-minded

Three women were talking about the travails of growing older. One asserted, "Sometimes I catch myself with a jar of mayo in my hand while standing in front of the chiller and I can't remember whether I want to put it away or start to make a sandwich." The second lady chimed in with, "Yes, often I find myself on the landing of the steps and cannot recollect whether I was on my way up or on my way down". The third one responded, "Well, ladies, I am pleased I haven't got to that problem. Knock on wood." As she rapped her knuckles on the table, she then announced, "that must be the door, I'll get it! ".




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